Fashion Freaks, The Worst Taste In Dress, a W0LF’s Duress!

I’ve noticed a trend lately, the more I write the more my INS4NITY wanes. What the flip is this, I should be going mental.  SO I SHALL! BWAHAHAHA!

Of course in many an article I have written about many things, made comments, although many of them have been about where gaming is going or where it is going to end up. Not what it HAS been. Those shocking moments in gaming history where, in my opinion, fashion has just gone out the window and your characters and protagonists just look like complete twits.

GAMING IS AN ART FORM MAYHAP, BUT PERCHANCE I WOULD NOT PERCEIVE IT TO THE EXTENT OF LOOKING LIKE MODERN ART!

So, my eager eyes and ears, I shall beseech thee with thine article, and thou shalt heed thine rant until ye wouldst cringe!

This peppy fellow is first on my list. Many a time I have gone through the Legend of Zelda. His obsession with “Forest Fairies” is so vast that he feels a need to dress up like some sort of impish pixie. In many a game with a rather light tone to it, I can’t help but rant cynically as I am in fact a very aggressive and grumpy twit. This guy sells maps, however more than often I have only ever wanted to purchase them in-game in vast numbers to roll them up over one another tightly and beat this sucker over the head with them till he ceases his annoying existence. Who the hell dresses like that! I guess its one of my pet peeves to witness a thirty something year old man, dress up like a total fool in some sort of catsuit. Even as a kid, I severely hated this guy with a passion.

Next we have Poison Ivy from Batman: Arkham City, I must say she is looking quite attractive, but what the hell went through those game developers minds? Gaming has suddenly gone pornographic and demeaning to women. I know you have me snuffed out as the “Boobs or GTFO” kind of guy, but really now even this takes the cake. Who the hell wakes up one day thinking: ‘I’m going to dress up in Ivy today.’ They need to be beaten with a crowbar, intensively. Without remorse. Y’know what, just keep going W00F, I think we’ve established the idiocy here.

Next we have the legendary Marcus Fenix from gears of war. One of the greatest put offs from that game was the absolute reek of it. No, I don’t imply that the game itself stinks, I quite enjoy it…

Most of it…

…Sorta.

Point being, this entire game seems to be nothing more than watching musclebound over compensating bodybuilding cliche dimwits roaring at the top of their lungs in compensation for something. The stink I refer to is the one of sweat, testosterone and absolute bull as the main protagonists barely show any admirable heroic qualities, just grim muscle bound stereotypical bull we see in the media today telling us men how we should behave. I.E Foaming at the mouth, and screaming testosterone induced cliche’s at every opportunity.

This one goes out to pretty much every MMO Out there. World of W00Fcraft, Guild W00Fs, the list is endless, so is my rage at this stupidity.  Emmelinep a contributor on this site wrote an article about “Boob Armour” it is very relevant as this point pretty much speaks for itself. In honesty there is no logic in this, Just a yearning to appease the kids out there with that over-zealous libido. Game developers, please don’t fall into this tit-trap. Your boobs defy logic, I’d slap you with them, but to many male developers making stuff like this to appease them, I fear you’d like that more than regret it.  Curses, you have foiled my plan!

Sora, from Kingdom hearts. Just look at those pants. It’s like he slung a tent on as he ran outside to go play, or he has spent too much time with mickey mouse. Either way. I have nothing good to say on this topic, and I shall remain civilized about it…

There’s my personal top five. Barking over, your ears may know peace once more!