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Game Exclusives: Xbox One, PS4 and Wii U will Piss Everyone Off (and it Won’t Matter One Bit)

So I heard you like your game exclusive so I made your exclusives exclusive.
This article is over 11 years old and may contain outdated information

With the upcoming fanpocalypse that will be the release of the next generation consoles, it’s a no-brainer that the name of the game is ‘exclusive’.

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Or:

‘What I have that those suckers over there don’t.’

The upcoming Xbox One already has around 19 currently documented exclusives, including Below, Crimson Dragon, Halo and Dead Rising 3. The Plasystation 4 has around the same amount, including titles such as Infamous, Deep Down, MLB 14.

And if you’ve been foaming at the mouth because the angel-slaying-off-the-charts-insanity that is Bayonetta 2 will only be available on the Wii U, then by now, dear reader, you already have a pretty good idea of exactly what the word exclusive means. And if you were as pissed as these gamers, then it might as well mean absolute mayhem because you were pretty much ready to set Nintendo on fire. Or at the very least shank a few folks.

(I’m not saying I was sharpening my knives, but I’m not not saying I wasn’t either.)

And that’s just for one title.

How fast it gets real with console exclusives

Stroll through any YouTube video with a mention of which console has the better exclusives and just watch how fast the razor blade wielding fan boys come out and the internet explodes. You would think judging from the comments that we were still back in the 90s and it was East Side vs West, rather than 2013 with the world preparing for the next generation of consoles.

If I’ve been assured of nothing else this year, it’s that talking about console exclusives is like running across a crowded parking lot trying to avoid land mines. It never ends well.

Yes they are two different things entirely. One of these could get you killed.

So what’s the deal with exclusives? Why do they harken to something primal and foul within even the most steadfast of gamers when the term comes up? More than just flaming the already hell-hot fire of the division between console gamers, it deals with something far more profound and twice as dangerous… I’m talking about one of the most powerful forces in the known universe:

Loyalty.

Consumer loyalty is what’s going to have Sims 4 sell out as soon as the Best Buy opens; it’s  going to carry rabid Halo Call Of Duty fans right back into the messy fray of fantasized war; why Dragon Age: Inquisition and Mass Effect will continue to have more fan tumblrs than walk-throughs; and why franchises like Final Fantasy will persist regardless of how emo-angsty the main characters get.

True loyalty can transcend cheesy plot lines, expensive price tags, and has most gamers walking that very fine line between sheer devotion and outright insanity.

Long story short–you don’t fuck with the fans. We are a pack of wild, fickle mistresses. We are hard to please, hard to satisfy, and we whine long and often. We wax and wane, love to complain, can’t wait to talk shit and hate to explain–but when we fall, we fall hard.

And that is exactly why the word ‘exclusive’ is the equivalent of sitting on a powder keg and lighting matches.

‘Foolish Mortal. All games are belong to us.’

The word exclusive today is usually the telltale sign that ‘yes good sir, you have made the right choice in purchasing this $300 plus console, here’s a cookie’, or ‘Silly boy, you done goofed.’ 

So you play game. You like game. A lot. You get hyped for the sequel, you save your $50 bucks and you hit the GameStop to find out…

‘SURPRISE! for being a loyal supporter of this series here’s a limited time offer! It’s going to cost you $360 instead of $40! Aren’t you excited?! You’re getting a console you don’t want to play a game you do! Everybody wins!’

Pause, flag on the play, do not pass go, do NOT collect $200.

Wait – didn’t I pay my dues? Didn’t I show my support by buying this game on the first day? Didn’t I piss my roommates off by staying up past the point of good sense to play it? Didn’t I troll YouTube videos being an absolute dick to anyone who didn’t like it?

You feel hopeless and infuriated, you want to tell the game developer to shove it where the sun don’t shine, and buy that brand spanking new console just to set it on fire. Or the other alternative, you’re already in the store raising hell because those poor fools over there are about to make the worst mistakes of their lives.

They’re pre-ordering what!? Don’t they know the launch line up sucks? Didn’t anyone tell them that this console has better exclusives? In fact, who even let these ignorant newbs in the store?!’

Exclusives Sell Consoles

The double-edged sword with exclusives arises with the sad realization that some big publishers/console developes are often not just buying and continuing franchises as exclusives because they are devoted to the series, but simply because at the end of the day they need to sell consoles.

The next generation is here guys, and the big three are out here scrapping for your money. So what if they have to hog your favorite franchise for the sake of surviving the upcoming fanpocalypse? Pfft, your pockets will be fine. I mean c’mon! You’ve done this once, you’ll do it again. You probably bought a Playstation to play FFVII, a Xbox to play Halo, a 360 to play Halo 3, a 3DS to play Fire Emblem or Pokemon X & Y and dammit all if you won’t be doing it all over again. So just go ahead  pick up the phone because Nintendo/Sony/Microsoft CALLED IT!

 

Stuck between a pimp and a hard place.

So what do you do when one of your favorite series jumps console ships? Or you find that the ‘exclusives’ take advantage of the softest spot in your usually cold, cynical, gamer’s heart? Or that they stoke the fires of the most passionate rage you have ever had the privilege to unleash upon the world?

More heartbreaking than the thought that you may have just been bamboozled by a member of the several ring circus that is the holy console trinity, is the thought that unless you cough up the dough, you may never play one of your beloved series ever again.

So how do you handle the dreaded ‘exclusives’?

Do you get caught up in the age-old war of the console gaming trinity? Does loyalty keep the money coming and your mind open, ready to spit obscenities to defend your actions till the end? Or does the term incite within you the blackest and foulest of loathing?

But even more importantly than the knowledge of the dreaded exclusives, which side of the console war will you be on?


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