No matter how you feel about flash games, it’s inevitable that one day you may wander into one that you get really into. Minutes, hours, even days wasted on one flash-based game you normally wouldn’t even think twice about. It happens to the best of us, and in this instance it has happened to me with Jelly Battle.
What is Jelly Battle, you ask? You and three other bored chumps jump around the game board trying to buff yourselves up, take out your opponents, and desperately try to avoid mine tiles. It requires more luck than strategy, repeats the same irritating song, and is addictive to the point of being bizarre.
Perhaps it’s how fat the jellies are or that satisfying feeling when you finally win after duking it out one on one for ten minutes. Whatever it is, I don’t know. What I do know is that this game will not let me out of its grasp. Even now as I write, between each paragraph is a match of Jelly Battle. I really wish I were kidding.
So how do I play this stupid game?
Go into single player, click the question mark at the bottom of the screen, watch the mini-tutorial, and read the descriptions for these. Each symbol has a unique effect that will mostly help (but maybe harm) you in battle. Those in pink are weapons, light blue are status effects, and the others have special effects. Learn them so you too can become the Jelly Battle Field Marshall! Or at least a Captain or something.
The real beef of the game lies in multiplayer, in which you will battle scores of neckbeards and people with nothing better to do. Single player just can’t hold a candle to those drawn out multiplayer battles with everyone spamming #rekt and that feeling of getting the final victory nuke.
That final, delicious victory nuke.
Really, though. You should try this game. I wholeheartedly welcome our jelly flash game overlords. Please help me.
Published: Jul 26, 2013 03:09 am