Christmas!!
No matter what you believe in or what your background is, Christmas is a time when people can set aside their differences and just be kind to each other. A time where families can come together — and in certain cases, play video games.
Speaking of video games, our favorite form of immersive entertainment occasionally features Christmas-themed levels and environments. And while some display the beauty of the holiday and Winter as a whole, others are just weird. So of course, we want to look at the weirdest of the weird.
Here are the top five most bizarre Christmas-themed levels we’ve ever seen in video games.
5. Any Level Where You Play as Santa Claus
Happy Wheels
I’m sort of starting off by cheating, but I find this just too sad and hilarious to exclude.
In the flash game Happy Wheels, a rag doll physics game, you can play as an assortment of characters through a variety of levels. These levels are of varying quality, seeing as they’re player made. One of these characters is Saint Nick himself.
And frankly, it’s just surreal to see Santa driving a sleigh pulled by suffering elves, and watching them all tumble around and go through an immense amount of pain.
Happy Wheels: putting a whole new spin on Santa using slave labor.
4. Christmas Town
Kingdom Hearts 2
Given that it’s straight from the superb film The Nightmare Before Christmas, the contents of this world in Kingdom Hearts 2 are pretty strange.
As Sora in Halloween Town, you get to interact with all of your favorite characters from the movie — plus Lock, Shock, and Barrel.
On the bright side, you at least get to hit these twerps with a giant key.
During your stay here, you’ll be surrounded by basic aesthetic elements of Christmas everywhere you go. Snow, bright, colorful lights, candy canes, etc.
However, this being Kingdom Hearts, a crossover between Disney and Final Fantasy, you’ll also be fighting a variety of Heartless and Nobodies, as well as a giant monster created by Dr. Finkelstein.
Most bizarre of all? Something remotely interesting happens with Sora’s character, as he question his belief in Santa Claus. While it’s nothing special or too deep, it’s one of the few times in the whole series we’ve seen Sora deal with an internal conflict.
3. Die Hard and Die Hard 2
Die Hard Trilogy
There are two kinds of people.
People who think Die Hard is a Christmas movie. And people who are wrong.
Die Hard Trilogy is an interesting title, as it consists of three different games, each based on one of the three first Die Hard movies, and each with a different gameplay style. While Die Hard 3 abandoned the tradition, the first two movies — and subsequently, the first two games — are set around Christmas.
In the third-person shooter game based off the first movie, you go around shooting terrorists and rescuing hostages. In the on-rails shooter game based off the second movie, Die Harder, you get to shoot even more terrorists, but this time with the option of doing so with a light gun that plugged right into your system.
Nothing shouts “Christmas” more than shooting virtual terrorists with a piece of plastic.
2. Twisted Christmas
Killing Floor 2
Killing Floor 2 is a mediocre FPS with rather fun gameplay, but little to no story to speak of. For the most part, it’s just you and your friends shooting monsters.
One of the notable things about the game, though, are the Twisted Christmas events.
During these events, there are new playable characters, Christmas themed tunes are added to the soundtrack, and all of the gruesome specimens get even more horrifying Christmas-themed skins.
While the skins don’t change the way the enemies function, their designs are just so bizarre and imaginative that I can’t help but love them.
1. Nuclear Winter
Duke Nukem 3D
Topping off the list, we have the Nuclear Winter expansion pack of Duke Nukem 3D.
While the previous entries have all featured elements which made them weird, the plot of this game is about as over-the-top as you can get for a Christmas story.
In this game, Santa Claus is captured and brainwashed by the alien maggots from the original Duke Nukem 3D. This time though, they are supported by a new enemy force known as the Feminist Elven Militia. So Duke has to travel to the North Pole is order to stop the brainwashed Santa and the two villainous factions from wreaking havoc on the world.
This is simultaneously the stupidest and the greatest plot to any story I’ve ever heard.God bless you Duke Nukem, you glorious product of the 90’s.
And God bless us, every one.
I think I’ve just come up with a new idea:
A Christmas Carol: Starring Duke Nukem
Published: Dec 12, 2016 07:41 pm